i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
Did you just see the Batmobile???
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
Randomize
