so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
Randomize
