it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
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