So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
