OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
Randomize