She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Randomize