the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
Randomize
