Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
Randomize
