oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
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