I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
Randomize