Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
Randomize
