What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
Randomize
