Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
