we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
Randomize
