Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
lets start a swedish sibling band together
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
Attn every girl I've slept with in the past 26 years of my life. One of you cunts gave me herpes. This is the 4th of 5 group MMS. That's right. It's in the 50s. There are two girls I don't have #s for. One was on a cruise and the other was a prostitute in Amsterdam. So which of you has herpes?
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
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