i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
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