the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
Randomize
