Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
i may or may not be watching the land before time
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Randomize
