i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
Randomize
