I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
Randomize