Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
