we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
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