Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
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