I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
Randomize
