New low: just hacked my moms facebook
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
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