You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
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