I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
Randomize
