oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
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