it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
Randomize
