I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
Randomize
