So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Randomize
