lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
