Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
When are your genitals available?
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
Randomize
