Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
Randomize
