He is an equal opportunity slut.
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
Randomize
