my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
Randomize
