So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
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