yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
Randomize