I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
Today's forecast: A sex tornado warning has been issued in your area. Counties affected include your bed, your shower, or your couch. This warning is in effect until further notice. Signs of a sex tornado include: your girlfriend coming up with a huge analogy to inform you that she's ungodly horny today.
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
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