When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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