okay pat passed out under dana's car
My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
Randomize
