"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
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