We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
Randomize
