what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
I would fuck him just for his dog
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
Randomize
