she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
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