you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
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