My room smells like vodka and shame
i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
Randomize
