He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
Randomize
