hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
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