I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
Randomize
