is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
Randomize