I'm not really sure actually. until I fell in love with a boy (which was just a few weeks ago) I thought my attraction to men was purely physical.
so you were gay...and then you realized you were EVEN MORE gay
So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
You asked the waitress for a vasectomy and handed her a butter knife, like you were ordering something from the menu
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
I pour the whiskey from now on
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
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