he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
Randomize
