I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
So vagazzling was a success
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
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