Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
Ladies don't puke and tell
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