I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
Randomize
