Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
