I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
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