You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
They took my balls.
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
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